13. for wilingness for future and magazine

Big cities are so exhausting. I don't feel my legs, my arms, my head. Oh, and my poor spine which "behaves" like being 100 years old, is in a very bad and painful condition.

I decided not to get involved in anything connected with people right now. Our relationships are not good for them and for me. We have nothing more to give to each other right now. I've got my own world, my own thoughts, my own moves, my own needs, my own loneliness, my own duties. Everybody have to count on themselves this time. There's nothing more to do. And I don't have got enough empathy and strenght to give it to others. It's quite simple. And I even don't need any lovelife. Tenderness eventually welcomed...
After visiting universities and being able to cutting with mob and trams I have (first time in my life) a REAL feeling that there's a REAL future ahead of me. With challenges, changes and developing personality. Of course I felt a little bit frightened when I realized it. But it's gonna be fine. And I felt a heart and interest for literature and art again.
I'm not reading any book right now, but I find pleasure in reading a magazine, touching its cold pages and viewing wonderful images. It's a magazine you can really read for a whole week and not feel bored. I'm tasting it slowly. I want to do everything slowly right now.
Especially slowly turn the pages...
















I'm really sorry if quality of pictures is not perfect. I prepare them on my laptop, so such features as brightness or contrast can me different on different computers. I don't like it, but I can't change it propably.